“Good morning,” I said to Nora as I walked into her office, “what’s on the agenda for today?”
It’s been a month since I came back to work and it was harder than I expected. My mom comes over every day to watch Emmalee and I used to call her ten times a day to check on them. She had to tell me to stop assuring me that she will let me know if she needs me.
Nora and I went over the list of things we had to get done today and as I was bent over the desk, suddenly I felt very nauseous. I stood up straight and put my hand over my mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Nora looked up at me.
“Nothing. I’m not feeling that great lately. I think it’s the nerves of leaving Em. How do you do it?”
“It’s hard for me, too,” she said and glanced at the picture of her, Dean and little Caroline that was sitting on her desk, “it gets a little easier when she gets older, you’ll see.”
“I guess,” I shrugged and the sick feeling came back. This time I had to run to the restroom.
When I came back, Nora was looking at me suspiciously, “are you sure it’s just nerves, girl? Because to me, it looks like you might be..”
“Don’t say it,” I stopped her before she could finish the sentence.
Of course I thought of it, too. And it scared the hell out of me. I had a five months old baby at home and as much as I loved her, the thought of having another newborn was absolutely terrifying. I was already exhausted having just one.
My best friend raised her eyebrows, “if you are, you know what, denying it is not going to change the fact. You need to take a test. Today.”
“I know. I’ll go get one on my lunch break.”
When I came back from the pharmacy I gestured Nora through the window leading into her office to follow me. She immediately jumped up and before the door closed behind me, she slipped in. I made sure no one else is in the ladies room by looking under the door of each toilet stall.
“Did you get it?”
“Yea,” I pulled the blue box out of my purse.
“Ok, go. I’ll wait here.”
I went into one of the empty stalls and peed on the stick.
“Ok, done,” I placed the test on the counter, “three minutes.”
“You’re gonna keep it if it’s positive, right?”
“Of course I’m gonna keep it. What kind of question is that.”
“Sorry. I’m just asking. You know I would support you no matter what you do.”
“I know. Thanks Nora. I’m so nervous. We can’t afford another baby right now.”
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I think you can look at it now.”
“Can you do it?”
“You want me to look?”
“Yes. Can you, please?”
Nora nodded and picked up the stick, moving it closer to her face so she can read the result.
“It’s positive, Dakota. You’re pregnant.”
I was trying to figure out how to tell Trevor all afternoon. His reaction could go both ways. Money is already tight with his new business. Having another baby is going to make the problem even worse and he will be under a lot of pressure.
After my mom left our house that night, I spread a blanket on the floor to play with Emmalee before her bath time, and waited for Trevor to come home.
He was working really hard every day of the week to make his business successful but he tried to come home every night before I put our daughter to bed. Soon I heard the key in the door .
“Hi honey,” I said as he walked through the front door and then turned back to Emmalee, “daddy’s home, sweetheart. Let’s go say hi to him.”
I picked her up and walked over to my husband so he can give us both a kiss. He then took her from my arms to snuggle her.
“How was your day?” I asked to find out what mood is he in.
“Good, good. The website is finally finished so hopefully more people will know about us.”
“That’s great! Look babe, I need to talk to you about something after I put Em to bed.”
“Ok, I’ll go take a quick shower.”
I took Emmalee from his arms and walked to the nursery where I put warm water into the small plastic bath tub and undressed her.
Tubby time was her favorite time and we always had a lot of fun with water toys and bubbles.
“There goes my big girl,” I said as I dipped her feet into the water and kissed her tiny forehead, “and soon you are going to be a big sister, too.”
“What?” I heard Trevor’s surprised voice coming from the nursery door where he was standing without me knowing.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” he let out confused laugh, “what did you mean when you said she’s going to be a big sister? Are you pregnant?”
“Yes. I just found out today. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Man,” he ran his fingers through his long hair worriedly and walked into the room, “another baby, huh?”
He clearly needed a second to process this unexpected news.
“Looks like it,” I nodded and put a towel over Emmalee to dry her off.
My husband wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed me behind my right ear.
“Do you think it’s going to be a boy this time?”
And I knew then that we will be fine. We will make room in our house, our budget and in our hearts for this surprise baby.